Vengeance With A Kiss
by EnglishBrat
Summary: Lily Evans has been taunted by Pranks King, the one and only James Potter, for most of her school days at Hogwarts. She decides it's time to turn the tables...but will the tables turn on her?
1. Pranks

James Potter could not stifle a snicker as he carefully set the dungbomb in Lily Evans' bed

A/N: An L/J fic! Woo hooo!I've never really tried, but I like to be somewhat open-minded J Bwahahahahahaha! Besides, Iceamethyst is so obsessed w/it (repeat: bwahahahahahaha!) that I felt I just had to write something!! Review, kind peoples!I neeeeeeeeeeed reviews! I think I'm dehydrating from lack of them . . . . . . . im not sure how dungbombs are detonated, so make something up, will ya? Oh, and I know Dumbledore wasn't headmaster at the time, but I have no idea who was! ACK! If anyone knows, please say so in a REVIEW!!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Bwahahaha!

Disclaimer: I hate theses damn things.. . . . anyway, everything that belongs to JKR belongs to her, and everything else belongs to me, capiche? Oh, and "Jamsie" belongs to Iceamethyst J I couldn't think of a decent nickname . . . . . . .

***

James Potter could not stifle a snicker as he carefully set the dungbomb in Lily Evans' perfectly made bed.Behind him, an equally gleeful Sirius Black nudged his back with whispers of "hurry up!" while smirking and looking around the girls' dorm with barely suppressed interest. And finally, Remus Lupin, standing guard at the portrait hole, watched anxiously everywhere at once, with worried mutters about "things blowing up in your face."Remus had always been the worry rat of the group.

James checked the bomb one last time, making sure it would go off at 9:00 PM - Little-miss-perfect never missed her bedtime by a second – and spun around, expecting to see Sirius' happy face.

Cold green eyes met his.

"James Potter," Lily said quietly, shaking her head. "Dear, dear James.Do you really think me that unaware?Don't answer that!" she added sharply, noticing his half-open mouth. " It's rather hard not to think that you're up to something when Sirius tells the whole school"- James shot Sirius a baleful look, which was studiously ignored-"or when Remus looks around as though expecting a Dementor to leap up behind him and perform the Kiss." Remus who had entered the room, blushed furiously and mumbled something, but Lily did not stop. "So.The question now is: What shall I do with you?"

James, who had somehow ended up sitting on the bed – wasn't it amazing how women managed to look inches taller when they were angry? – cast her his most defiant glance, daring her to do her worst.At this, she burst out laughing, and his face darkened even more.

"Aww, widdle Jamsie is a widdle scawed!" she said teasingly. 

She had become totally unaware of Sirius, still behind her, and Remus, wringing his hands.Sirius looked at James and winked, a rueful look on his face.James wondered what he was up to, but he had no doubt it would get them into even deeper trouble than they already were.

". . . then, after I report you to Dumbledore, I'll need to teach you a little lesson myself . . ." Lily continued in a lecturing tone, completely oblivious to the devious boy behind her.

Sirius pulled out his wand as slowly as humanly possible so he didn't make any noise to remind Lily of his being there.He pointed it at her back and whispered, "Dishabirimius."

Lily's eyes popped open, and outrage painted her every feature.Remus, shocked, had buried his red face in his hands and was whimpering fitfully about getting killed by a redheaded female.Sirius had dropped to the floor and was clutching his sides, laughing uncontrollably.

James was as stunned as Lily.She stood in front of him, clad only in her bra and underwear, with her mouth dropped open.Come to think of it, though, James thought as he cocked his head, she didn't look half bad.She had quite some curves, for a girl that age, and . . . 

"You'll regret this, Potter.I swear you will," Lily said in icy tones, gathering her robes in front of her.

James only grinned and hopped off the bed before she could say more.Remus had already gone, and Sirius had somehow managed to roll down the stairs while laughing.He could hear faint moans of pain getting louder as he neared the common room.He smirked and rubbed his hands.Humiliation was always better than a physical prank.Always.

***

Lily dropped onto her bed, infuriated._How _had Sirius learned that spell was the one thing she really wanted to know. Because where there was one spell, there were others.Oh, yes there were.And she would find them.James was going to pay for doing this to her, even if it had not been public.

She snatched another robe from her closet and yanked it on before proceeding to brushing her hair, her mind working furiously.Obviously no teacher could have possibly taught him that spell, and she didn't think Sirius had somehow invented a new spell.The very notion was ridiculous.It was Sirius, after all.So, boring down the possibilities, that left a book.Sirius must have bought a book of prank spells.

The question now was how to get to that book.Oh, she could sneak in, but she knew how creaky those chests were, and James was a very light sleeper.She had found that out the hard way.No.After all, Lily Evans was not all smiles for the teachers and perfect grades.She did have a devious side. What she needed was for someone to give her the book, so she would not have to through this business of snooping around.And she knew just the person.

***

"You want _me _to get you the book Sirius used for that spell?" Remus asked incredulously."Why?"

"Why?" Lily asked in a slow, sultry voice. "Why?Because, sweet Remus, you don't mean to tell me you're going to let Sirius and James get away with what they did, do you?"She hopped from the cushy sofa she had been sitting on and sat on Remus' lap, which in truth made him feel quite uncomfortable.She looked up at him through long lashes and stuck out her bottom lip slightly. "Please, Remus?I know you had no part in it; I trust you.Don't you think what they did was wrong?"

"Well, yeah," Remus answered, shifting uncomfortably. "It's just . . "

"That they're your friends?And you don't want to betray them?"

"Er. . . yeah, I guess you could say that . . ."

Lily snuggled up against his chest and sighed softly.Remus was beginning to panic.

"Remus, Remus, Remus.You're _not _betraying them, or going behind their backs.You're just doing me a little favor."She reached up and stroked the side of his neck softly, giving him goosebumps, and whispered, "Please?"

Remus couldn't stand it anymore.It wasn't that he didn't like having a girl on his lap - she felt nice, in fact – but this was Lily!Unfortuneatley, he had the feeling she wouldn't back down until he agreed.

"Alright," he sighed, "I'll do it!"

"Ooh, I knew you would," Lily cooed.

With a pat on the cheek and a kiss on his nose, she gracefully stood up and walked slowly to her room, hips swaying.

Remus scrubbed a nervous hand through his hair and exhaled slowly.Did women learn to do that in their cradles?He could feel his heartbeat beginning to slow, and his breath becoming rythmicall again, but he knew they had been racing for some time because of her.

He stood up and shook out his legs, then took another deep breath before walking unsteadily towards his room.

***

James and Sirius were already sitting on James' bed when Remus arrived, talking rapidly about what they should do next with the famed prank book.

" I still say we use this one," Sirius said, obviously not for the first time. " 'After this spell has been recited, the person will passionately love the person she hates the most for one full day.' Can you imagine perfect Lily Evans hounding some poor wretch the whole day? It'll be hilarious!"

James sighed."Sirius, how many times do I have to tell you how easily that could backfire?What if the person she hates the most is _me_?"

"All the better!We could totally humiliate her in front of the whole school, and she won't even care!. . . Until later."

James blinked and opened his mouth, then noticed the shape ambling into the room. 

"Remus!" he exclaimed. "Where have you been?The last time I saw you, you were in the common room with Lily Evans" – he managed to put a considerable amount of spite into those two words – "and that was an hour ago!"

Remus looked around anxiously, looking very much like a mouse cornered by a cat, and stammered excuses.

"Well, uh, you see, Lily, she . . .er, well, see, she wanted to, um, yell at me for . . . for what happened, and . . ."

"And you let yourself get caught!" Sirius finished with a laugh. "I swear, the only way to get out of a lecture from her is to slip away when she stops to breathe!"

Remus nodded, looking considerably relieved, and asked Sirius what James thought was a rather odd question coming from Remus' mouth.

"Say, Sirius, do you mind if I borrow that book when you guys are finished with it?I wanna read it before I fall asleep . . ."

Sirius waved it off, intent on the book.

"Sure thing, Remus.But seriously, now.What do _you_ think of this spell?"

*** 

Lily laughed softly to herself and rubbed her hand together.It had worked like a charm.She had doubted Remus would fall for her "playgirl" attitude, but apparently she had been wrong.She allowed herself another giggle before entering the room she shared with two others, Becca and Kat.

As soon as she entered, Becca leaped up from her spot on her bed, Kat not far behind.

"Where have you been?!" she demanded, hugging her. "I haven't seen you since yesterday!"

"Yeah," added Kat. "You're not . . . you're not dissing us, are you?"

Lily felt guilty not telling them where she had been.They _were_ her friends, after all.

"Of course no!I've just been a little . . .busy."

"Ooooh, I know what that means!" Becca squealed. "James did something again, didn't he?Didn't he?"

"Do tell!" Kat added.

They all sat on their beds while Lily told them everything.About noticing Remus' sudden avoidance of her and frequent hand-wringing all the way to Sirius' wretched spell.

"So now," she concluded, "I have to get back at them."

"And you're going to use that book?" Kat asked. "Brilliant!Absolutely brilliant!"

"You'll let us help, right?Right?" Becca added excitedly.

"Of course I'll let you in on it!This isn't the sort of thing one does alone!"

They giggled agreement and shifted on the beds.

"So when is 'dear sweet Remus' bringing this book?" Kat asked, always the practical one.

"He said he should be able to bring it around midnight, when James and Sirius are asleep.

"In that case, maybe we sleep.It's another"-she glanced quickly at the alarm clock on the nightstand-"two hours or so until he comes."

Becca grinned. "Hopefully the lovesick idiot will have the sense to wake us up; he probably won't be able to breathe when he sees Lily!"

This provoked a new fit of giggles, that only died away completely when everyone was in bed and the lamps turned off.

Lily was just about to fall asleep when Kat mumbled drowsy question.

"Lily?"

"Hmm?"

"Why don't you want to get back at Sirius instead of James?"

"Go to sleep, Kat.It's late . . ."

***

A/N: It's the end! WAAAAAAAAH!!! Great sadness.Don't worry, though! More to come!If anyone has an idea for a good prank Lily and her compadros could play on James, please email me at [lionlady68@yahoo.com][1] . I could come up with something myself, but, hey, I'd rather use someone else's imagination :-P Don't worry, I'll give due credit!

   [1]: mailto:lionlady68@yahoo.com



	2. Light Sleepers

A/N: Ok, in case you guys haven't realized yet, this is happening during the Christmas holidays (most romance stories do 

A/N: Ok, in case you guys haven't realized yet, this is happening during the Christmas holidays (most romance stories do . . . .) So …yay. Anyway, I've decided what's going to happen, and its all thanks to . . .whoops! I can't give it away yet! Bwahahahahaha! Anyway, enjoy and . . . .REVIEW!

***

Remus nervously felt the heavy, leather-bound book on his pillow for what seemed the fiftieth time.He could tell Sirius was already asleep, judging by the sound of fifty pigs around an apple coming from behind his curtains.He was not sure about James, though.Sirius' snoring drowned out all other sounds, so he could not judge by slow breathing.

Sweating buckets, he glanced at the clock on his nightstand.11:59.Lily was probably expecting him by now.

The thought of her brought new beratings of himself.Why _did I let her twine me around her finger like that?I can't betray James and Sirius like this!_Lily's voice rang in his ears, though. _It's not betraying, it's doing me a favor._

_ _

Remus sighed.He had, promised, after all.Remus Lupin did not go back on his promises.

He decided that he would just have to go for it.He waited for Sirius to exhale before scrambling out of bed, paused, then quickly padded to the door at his next breath.One more had him opening the door and heading outside.

He leaned against the door for a moment, just to be sure no one had heard him – unlikely, with Sirius – before striding towards the girls' dorm.

Reaching it, he wondered if he should knock.Then he pictured Lily's head when he woke her up.He pushed the door open with a sigh.

He immediately picked out Lily's bed – flaming red hair was hard to miss, even in the moonlight.He tiptoed over to it and set the book down between her bed and another girl's he did not know very well.Lily stirred and mumbled something, and her eyes flicked open.

*** 

Lily awoke to a very pale-looking Remus.

"Finally," she mumbled, trying to blink the graininess (A/N: erm….is that a word?) out of her eyes._ _

_ _

Remus picked the book off the floor and shoved it into her hands.

"You _never _talked to me.Got it?"

Lily smiled. 

"Whatever, you want, Remus.Now go to bed before James notices you're not sleeping.I don't think Sirius will"-she paused to let the faint sounds of snoring become known-"but James might."

Remus nodded quickly and slunk out of the room.Almost, Lily thought, like a wolf.

She set the book down on her pillow and got up to wake the others.They wouldn't want to miss this.

Kat awakened immediately, her hair in perfect order and her eyes not the slightest bit bleary-eyed.Lily wondered how she did it.

Becca, however, was another matter.

"Becca!" Lily whispered as loudly as she could afford.

"Whaaaaaat?" Becca replied in a muffled whiny voice.

"Becca, get up!We have the book!" Lily said, shaking her roughly.

"Sto-o-o-op!I don't wanna _be _half a look, whatever that means!" She snuggled deeper into her blankets.

Lily exchanged exasperated looks with Kat.Kat smiled slightly, and made a pushing motion in the air.Lily giggled and nodded.

"On three," she whispered.

"One . . ."

"Two . . ."

"Three!"

Becca collapsed on the floor with a grunt, then leaped up to her feet.

"That was unnecessary!" she shrieked."Just because I don't want to looks at the . . ."

Suddenly her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth.Too late.

James, the light sleeper Remus said he was, could be heard scrambling down the stairs.

Lily shot a daggered look at Becca, who blushed and wrung her hands.

"What are we going to do?" she wailed. "What are we going to do? What are we going to do? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!"

"We're going to shut up," Kat said firmly. "It's just James, after all."

Lily nodded and hopped in bed, hiding the book under her pillow.

"As far as he's concerned, we've been sleeping the whole time!" she hissed."Now shut up!" 

The footsteps stopped by the door.

***

James stopped by the girl's dorm, slightly hesitant, before pushing open the door.He was sure he had heard one of them scream.

Poking his head inside, he noticed nothing out of the ordinary.Just three girls, sleeping . . . Wait.His head swiveled back to the one on the left.Why was she sleeping on the floor?

He walked in the rest of the way.

"Lily?"

An exceptionally loud snore that would have done Sirius proud answered him.

"I know you're awake," he said tentatively.

Another snore.Or was it a snort?

"Who screamed?"

He thought the girl on the left giggled.Well, that answered his question.

"Why?"

"That's none of your business, mophead!" was the biting response.

"Oh yeah?" he retorted. "Well, I can make it my business if I can hear it all the way in my room, carrot hair!"

Lily sat up and faced him.With her disheveled hair, bleary eyes, and furious grimace, she looked absolutely horrendous.

"It's. None.Of.Your.Business,"Lily repeated in a much too quiet tone. "So, unless you plan on leaving a very short life, I strongly recommend you leave right now, without another word."

So, she thought she could threaten him, did she?She didn't who she was talking to.

"Excuse me, miss huffy, but . . ."

He barely had time to widen his eyes when a furious red fireball whammed into him.

***

Lily pounded James with her fists, as hard as she could, emphasizing her thoughts with them._He _–pound- _will not _–pound- _insult _–pound- _me _–pound.

Suddenly, she realized that he last attempt at hitting him, she had missed.James was sitting on top of her, neatly pinning her arms to the ground.She noticed, with some satisfaction, that his left eye was starting to puff out.

"Don't.Do that,"James said softly.

She contended herself with a snarl, and struggled to break free.She couldn't, of course.James was a lot stronger than she.

Seeing her attempts at escape were futile, she looked to her friends for help.Becca was snoring loudly, and Kat was writing down in a notepad, of all things!

Her right eye twitched furiously, as it always id when she was angry.

"You let me go right now, Potter, or I swear I will make you sorry for the rest of your miserable life!"

"Is that a threat?" he asked insolently.

Lily bared her teeth and tried to kick him, but he was firmly sitting on her legs.Gently, ever so gently, he picked her up – with irritating ease – and set her down on her bed with a malevolent grin.

"Sweet dreams, carrot."

***

A/N: yeah, it was kinda boring, but I just had to include the part about whining becca! J Sorry to all Remus fans, but I always pictured him as the quiet, shy one of the group *apolegetic smile* And I know Lily probably wouldn't attack him like hat, but hey, sometimes people lose their temper, you know?Oh, and Peter Pettigrew isn't in this because he's a meanie and this is a happy story J Can anyone guess what Kat was writing about? Bwahahahahaha!


	3. Turning the Tables

A/N: I'm so glad some people like my story

A/N: I'm so glad some people like my story! *wipes tear* It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside! J don't forget to suggest stuff in reviews! Writer's block tends to be annoying . . .. bwahahahahaha! To answer a question: who knows what Kat is writing? Perhaps we'll find out at the end . . . . .MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Erm. Yeah. On with the story.

***

Lily stared icily at James' back as he turned and swaggered through the door, mentally turning him into a salamander.It seemed fitting for one as annoying as him.

"Well," she said in frosty tones, "let's get to that revenge, shall we?"

She stepped on Becca's stomach, producing a loud "oomf!" and a mumble about getting up, before slipping the book out from under the covers.

She sat crossed legged on her bed and waited for her two friends to join her before opening the book to its index.

"Let's see," she said, scanning the page. "Curses . . .no . . .. spells . . .that won't do . . .. bathroom jokes . . .ick . . ."

"What are you looking for?" Kat asked.

Lily sighed and cocked her head upwards.

"I'm not really sure.I want something where they'll know I did it, but they won't be able to prove it."

"Ooo, devious!" Becca put in, leaning over the book.

"Hmmm . . . how about a potion?That way, you could mix it in with something, have him drink it, and then . . ." Kat finished with a sly smile.

"That's brilliant, Kat!" Lily exclaimed, hugging her friend. "Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Kat just smiled and glanced over the memo book she had left lying on her nightstand.

"Neither do I . . . ." she said quietly.

Lily scanned the page with Becca and didn't notice her last statement.

"Hey, look!" Becca suddenly exclaimed. "There's a bookmark here!"

"Yeah, there is . . . .It must be the next prank James and his 'buddies' are planning for you, Lily!" Kat said.

Lily smiled thinly.

"So. They want to mess with me, do they? I'll show them." 

She flipped to the page that had been bookmarked and read aloud:

" 'After this spell has been recited, the person will passionately love the person she hates the most for one full day.'"

"That's great!" Becca squealed."You'll have him _at your feet_!"

Lily smiled and looked to Kat.Her brainy friend nodded her consent and grinned.

"Ok, it says it's a spell, but it's actually a spell that you put on a potion, so here's what we'll do . . ."

She was going to make that James Potter pay.

***

The next day, during breakfast, James noticed that Lily was talking an awful lot to her two friends.And looking in his direction when they thought he wouldn't notice.

"They're planning something," he muttered. "I just know it."

Sirius snorted loudly and put down his fork.

"Them??Planning something?Ha!James, James, James.When will you learn?First of all, they're _girls_.Their idea of revenge is probably pouting when they think you aren't looking!Second, it's Lily.She wouldn't break a rule if her life depended on it!A third, my four-eyed friend, anything they do, we can countercurse with the book."

At mention of the prank book, Remus grew distinctly pale and cringed slightly in his seat.

"The book," James said flatly. "Where is the book?"

Remus looked around nervously.

"I . . .well . . .it's upstairs.I'll get it after breakfast . . ."

James sighed and pushed his scrambled eggs around on his plate, not in the mood to eat.Sirius, however, was scarfing down everything he could find.

"Mfames?" he asked between a mouthful of pasta (much to James' and Remus' disgust). "Horchwtch dchoo get thath black eye?"

James picked the strands of angel hair off his robes before answering flatly.

"I tripped."

Sirius sloshed some water into his mouth and closed it.It was all James could do not to turn away at the site of a huge bulge in his throat when he swallowed.Sirius could be repulsive, sometimes.Well, most of the time.

"You tripped.Onto a fist?"

James grimaced and looked for an answer – by now Remus was looking at him interestedly – when Lily and her friends stepped in front of him.

"Good morning, Potter," she said coolly.

"Good morning, _Evans_," he mimicked in a whiny nasal voice.

Lily crossed her arms but said nothing, Becca, for some reason, was staring icicles into him, and Kat was frantically scribbling in a small notebook.

"Good morning, Sirius, Remus," Lily continued in that regal tone, completely ignoring him. "I trust you had a good night's rest?"

Sirius grinned like an idiot and eyed her up and down; she did not seem to mind.Remus looked abashed, of all things, and even mumbled a meek "Yes, Lily."

This was too much.James stood up, eyes blazing, a placed his fists on the table, leaning close to her face.

"Now look here, Evans.I don't know what you're doing, but stop it.Stop it now.Whatever you're trying to do to me, I can to ten times worse, so stop.For your own good."

She arched a cool eyebrow and looked at him, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Now, now, dear Jamsie, if you lean any closer, I'll think you might want to kiss me!" she laughed at this, and Kat scribbled faster than ever. "Maybe we'll talk again later.Until then, don't try any tricks with me!"

She patted his cheek as though he were some sort of pet dog who had done well and sashayed over to the table they had been sitting at, Kat and Becca hard on her heels - after a sharp sniff for him.

His eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"She doesn't know what she's playing at," he mumbled, looking to his friends for support.

Sirius looked somewhat dream, though his gaze was directed on Becca instead of Lily.Remus seemed very intent on picking little pieces of lint of his coat.

James grit his teeth.He could not believe this.

"Sirius!" he hollered in Sirius' ear.

Sirius jumped a foot in the air, yelping, and snapped back to the present.

"Owwwwww!!!! What'd you do that for, James?Geez!A guy can't even check someone out without his friend . . ." he dragged off, noticing James' twitching hands and throbbing vein in his temple."Ah . . . hey, buddy, ol' pal!You won't let Lily get to you like that by saying . . . .erm . . .what _did _she say?"

"It's not important," James said, making an effort not to make his voice rise above normal level. "What _is _important is that you – you! – are goggling at her friends!"

He made the word "friends" sound very much like "vipers" somehow.

"Yeah," Sirius said, grinning again. "That Becca, she's a hot one.Not that Lily is bad, of course, just a little too prickly for me.Do you think she likes me, James?I just know I felt sparks fly . . ." he ended with a dreamy sigh.

James threw his hands up and looked at Remus.

"And you?I suppose you've also fallen for her."

Remus concentrated on his nails.

"Well, not Becca . . . she's too . . . uh . . . excitable"-producing a snort from Sirius-" But Kat . . .She's got something . . .. She's . . ."

He blushed, not able to talk about these things as easily as Sirius, who was currently chanting, "Remus has a girlfriend!Remus has a girlfriend!"

James scowled and stood up.

"Tell me when you've come to your senses; I'll be in the library."

***

A/N: What? It's the end? I know, I know. I suck at endings!!! But if I wrote the Lily POV, it'd be too long . . . .ooooooooooh well. I guess you people will just have to wait for the next chapter! Give me five good reviews and I'll post it! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! 


	4. Another Reason

A/N: I'm hyperventilating

A/N: I'm hyperventilating!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! So many reviews!! (this is a new feeling for me, as you will notice from my other stories) Thank you, all you nice people! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! *blows kisses* And now, on with the story!!!

***

Lily allowed herself a smug smirk as she walked back to her table, Kat and Becca hard on her heels.

Kat grinned mischievously.

"Phase one of plan: check."

Becca giggled.

"This is so much fun!I had no idea annoying James could be so easy!And then there's his friends, of course.Especially Sirius . . .He's sooo cute when he gets in trouble!" she sighed.

Lily missed a step.

"What?!_Sirius_?The idiot who doesn't care about anyone's feelings? _That _Sirius?" she said incredulously.

"She's right, Becca.Sirius is nothing but a troublemaker who shouldn't be befriended!Remus, though . . ." Kat bit her lip, as if having said too much.

Lily goggled.

"You too?!What is wrong with my friends?!"

Kat and Becca just smiled at one another, knowing exactly how the other felt.Lily threw up her hands and shook her head.

"You know what?I don't think I can take this much longer," she said, adding a gagging noise for good measure."I'll be in the library in case you guys come to your senses!"

She stalked off, leaving her two giggling friends sneaking glances at Sirius and Remus, who were doing their best to look as if they didn't notice.

***

James sat in the library, wondering what he could possibly do – besides read, anyway.He picked up a book on a shelf nearby and opened it to a random page.

_Sirius and Remus had better not be serious! _He thought to himself while flipping through the book._They'll give everything away to stupid Becca and Kat!Lovesick idiots._

_ _

He heard footsteps and looked up; not many people came into the library during the Christmas holidays. _Except the ones who've been abandoned by their friends,_ he thought wryly.

None other than Lily Evans walked into the room, bristling like a cat doused with water.

Her green eyes shot icicles around the room and her hands had her robes in a white-knuckled grip.

_Well, well,_ James thought, smiling, _It looks like some unlucky soul got her on her bad side.. . .Probably me,_ He added as an afterthought.

Lily caught site of him and gave a start, then narrowed her eyes to slits.James laughed.

"Well, Lily dear, has someone stepped on your tail?" 

"You!I knew it!You cast a spell on them!Didn't you?Didn't you?!Admit it, rat-boy!" she bellowed, earning a sharp look from the librarian.

James decided to play along.If she thought he had cast a spell on whomever, he might as well use it.

"Well of course I did!That didn't just happen by itself, did it?I told you not to mess with me, Evans."

Her hand twitched towards her wand, but she stilled it and set it on top of the other.

"Well, _Potter_, perhaps who would like to _grace _us with a countercurse."

It was not a question, it was a demand.From someone who knew it would be fulfilled.

"Oh, I don't think so.There is none."

Right eye twitching, she stepped forward quickly – reaching him in three strides - grabbed both his cheeks (A/n: his _face _cheeks, you sick people!) and pulled them opposite ways, making James look very much like a frog.

"What. Did you say?"

James smiled at her; or tried to, with his stretched out face.He then pulled out his wand and poked her right in the stomach.

"_Gonflurimus!_" he shouted when she let go of his face in surprise.

He smiled as the spell began to take effect.Lily seemed to have a little more baby fat than usual.And more.And more.And more.

She puffed up like a balloon until she could no longer have gotten out he door.

"I'll get you for this!" she shrieked."I swear, I will!"

James just snickered and slipped out the door.

***

That Night 

Lily sat in her pajamas with her two friends and a potion in her hands, hammering out the final details of the "master plan".

"Ok, so tomorrow, you two walk over and get Sirius'" – Becca giggled – "Remus'" – Kat giggled – "and James' attention.Do whatever you need to do, just make sure they don't turn around until I'm ready!"This brought sly winks and nudges from Becca and Kat.

Lily rolled her eyes and continued.

"_Anyway_!While their backs are turned, I'll put this potion into James' glass.He drinks it, falls in love, bla, bla, bla.All clear?"

"Clear as glass, captain!"Becca exclaimed with a mock salute.

"Right.Anyway, I made the potion after Madam Pomfrey released me from the hospital wing, so now all we have to do is charm it.Would our expert charmer, Kat, please step up to the podium?" she said grandiosely with flourishing gestures.

Kat smiled and pulled out her wand.

"Okay, I studied this all last night.It's kind of elaborate, you know.The potion should turn bright pink after the spell; that's how we make sure it works."

Becca and Lily nodded impatiently and Kat took a deep breath.

"Okay, here goes!_Haisen daisen amur nut, hajene noop!_"

She swirled her wand elaborately – wand movements were just as important as the spell in charms – and finally pointed it at the blue potion.

They all stared at it as it bubbled up, swirled around, and finally, with a slight "pop," it turned pink.

Becca squealed loudly, Kat let out a breath she did not know she had been holding, and Lily grinned like mad chesire cat.

"Tomorrow," she said happily, "he'll pay!"

***

A/N: Wooo! What will happen? Will it go as planned?Or will a twist of fate ruin it all?Review and find out! Bwahahaha!By the way, Cho, I like your idea very much, but I already had one for this particular prank, so I'll use it later in the story! Thanks to all my reviewers:

Cho ~~ Like I said, I'll use it later J

JoyofPotter ~~ Revenge is such a great name! Thank you! 

Shel ~~ Yes, humor is so fun to write!

Queen of sheba ~~ spiffing idea! Thanks

Pink Gelpen ~~ yeah, im not all angst and seriousness!

Heather ~~ Dumbledore's cool J

Trista Setsuna ~~ well, if you REALLY want to read it ahead of time, id be happy to send it to you . . . . .but im not giving anything away! Bwaahahahaha!

Lady Ev ~~ im not going to say anything because I might give something away J

~Skydancer ~~ being on a roll is fun J it never happens to me………….

PheonixGrl*** ~~ I like to think so . . . .but that's kinda arrogant…..


	5. Distractions

A/N: Greetings readers

A/N: Greetings readers!Chapter five already! How time flies . . . .By the way, I'm not really sure which year they're in *sheepish grin* but I know its gotta be after first year since they've already developed their "hatred" and before 7th since . . . . er . . . . well, they just aren't.I'd say maybe fifth or something :) This chapter is going to be a whole lot longer than the others, since I want to fit more in it, but it's sure to be interesting! 

***

The Evening of the Next Day 

Kat and Becca sat on Lily's bed, trying to decide what to do to divert the three marauders' attention (Lily had gone to the library to "let them think," which had brought mad scribbling from Kat.)

"Well," Becca said with a slightly "out-there" look on her face, "I sure know what _I'd _like to do to 'divert' Sirius' attention!"

Kat made excessive gagging noises and pretended to strangle herself.

"Becca!Gross!Now you've got a mental picture in my head!Yeck!" she gave a shudder before continuing. "What _I _think we should do is get the whole school's attention instead of just Sirius and Remus.And James.That way, _no one _can tell that Lily was the one who put the potion in James's drink!"

Becca sighed regretfully.

"If we must . . . ."

"Glad you agree," Kat said sarcastically. "Now, I was thinking about this all last night, and I think I have a good idea."

Becca leaned forward excitedly, all notions of Sirius forgotten – for now.

"What we do," Kat continued, "is we divert their attention by pretending to be someone else.I don't know about you, but I don't really feel like getting detention for the next two weeks."Becca nodded impatiently, and Kat continued in a satisfied tone."So, we'll be impersonating Lucius and Severus."

Becca gasped, eyes widening.

"Lucius and Severus?!Are you out of your mind?!They'll kill us if we even pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend being them!!"

Kat waved a hand, dismissing it as unimportant.

"I'm not done, Becca."

She sneaked a look around then, even though there was no one, leaned in close and whispered into Becca's ear.Becca's eyes widened, and her face broke out into a grin.By the end of Kat's little "plan", both girls were heaped on the bed, laughing hysterically.

"That," Becca said between sharp breaths of air, wiping a tear off her cheek, "was brilliant."

Kat allowed herself one more grin before continuing in a business-like manner.She never let herself get too carried away.

"Ok, we'll need a couple things for this to work."She leaned over to her bed and pulled out a clipboard, touching each item on the list lightly as she spoke. "First, James's cloak.That's the most important.We'll also need some explodeepofs – I already got some from Zonko's – and costumes, of course.Do you think we should have music?"

"Naw, I'm sure we'll be making enough noise by ourselves," Becca grinned.

" I guess you're right.So let's review.We have explodeepofs and costumes already, so all we need is James' cloak."

"Um . . .Kat?"

"What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Uh . . . no . . . I don't think so, anyway.Am I?"

"Duh!How do we look like Lucius and Severus?"

"Oh, that!Not to worry, my dear Becca!I've got it all taken care of!"

Becca arched her eyebrows.

"Reaaaaaally?"

"Yes, reaaaaaally!Here, I'll show you."

She pulled out what looked like a small brown piece of folded paper.

"This," she explained, "is an expando-closet."

She set the paper-like object on the floor and tapped it once with her wand.Becca gasped as the thing began to unfold repeatedly, finally ending up in a sturdy wood closet that reached her hips.

"Wow!" she exclaimed. "That's cool!"

Kat shrugged modestly and opened its lightly carved doors, revealing a large assortment of objects – including, much to Becca's delight, several pictures of Remus.

Kat's hand hovered over the various items, stopping now and then to peer at the labels beneath them.Finally, she gave a small "aha!" and pulled out a vial of . . .stuff from the back of the closet.

"Polyjuice potion!"she exclaimed triumphantly.

Becca gaped, blinking several times as though trying to register what she was seeing.

"_Polyjuice Potion_???? Becca, how in the world did you . . . What . . .how . . .?"

She stuttered off, completely at loss for words.Kat smiled – rather smugly, Becca thought – and explained it to her while gesturing with the potion.

"It's a long story, really.Maybe I'll explain it to you someday we have more time."

"You better!"

"Yeah, yeah.Anyway, now, our only problems are how to get a part of Lucius and Severus into the potion and how to get them out of the way – since we don't want them there when we appear with their faces."

"Of course . . . ."

"Any ideas?"

"Well, I'm not sure this'll help, but . . . I know they both will do anything to get some chocolate.Which is weird, really, since they're incredibly creepy guys.Who would've thought they'd like something normal like chocolate?"

A wicked grin split Kat's face in half.

"Splendid," she murmured.

***

Half an hour later 

_ _

Becca slammed all her weight on the closet door while Kat locked it with a small key that fit most anywhere.Angry shouts and bangs on the door from the two Slytherins could barely be heard unless they pressed their ear to the door.

"That," she breathed, "was close."

Kat smiled and pocketed the key, motioning her friend to join her walk down the hall.

"Yes it was, but, dammit, it's gonna be worth it!"

"Kat!"

"What?"

"You swore!"

"So?"

"Well . . . you never swear, that's all . . ."

Kat rolled her eyes as they reached the portrait hole.

"Wrinkled skin," they said in unison.

"What? Oh, yes, my dears.Please, hop right in," the Fat Lady answered, waving an absent-minded hand.

Kat and Becca made their way down the hallway quietly, trying to see if there was anyone there.

Their nerves released somewhat when they entered an empty common room.

"Ok," Kat whispered – it was so quiet, it only seemed natural, "now for the cloak."

They crept up the stairs to the boys' dormitories (A/N: are there stairs? Well, in my imagination, there are…) and opened the door quietly, stealing quick glances left and right.

When the room proved empty, they still walked on tiptoe – and still every single floorboard creaked – until they reached James' bed.

Becca knelt over the large chest at the foot of the dark four-poster bed.It was locked.

Kat looked at it, smiled, and waved her little key in the air.Becca smiled in return and snatched it from her hand.

Suddenly, footsteps were heard.Faint at first, but growing louder by the second.And definitely heading towards them.Kat made a grimace and waved Becca on, urging her to go faster.

Becca jiggled the key frantically in the small keyhole.The footsteps came up the stairs. 

The lid of the chest popped open with a slight "click" and Becca dove in to find the cloak.Barely a second later, she held the silvery piece of cloth out triumphantly.

Kat snatched the cloak out of her hand, snapped the lid shut, and quickly spread the cloak between the two of them.

The door creaked open.

***

Sirius sang to himself as he stepped into the boys' dormitories.

"Oh, we've got this notion that we'd quite like to sail the ocean doo da doo da da dum da da doo da da dum . . ."

He threw himself onto his bed and pulled out a book labeled "diary" from underneath the mattress.

(A/N: yes, I know what you're thinking: Sirius has a _diary_?? Read on...)

"Ho hum . . . Let's see here, October 20, 1998 . . . dungbombs in the girls' bathroom . . .my best moment ... January 1st, 1999 . . . 'successfully released one thousand newts, frogs, and toads into the common room.School closed for an extra two days.' Ha!"

He flipped to a blank page and dipped his quill in ink.

"Hmm . . . Ok, so today is . . ."

He paused and looked around.There was no one there.Except . . .He was sure he had closed that door . . . and he could have sworn he had felt . . .

He reached up to his cheek and rubbed his finger on it.

When he took it down to look at it, it was red with lipstick.Sirius blinked, trying to put two and two together.

***

Becca plopped down on her bed and clutched a hand to her chest.

"Oh my god!For a minute there, I thought we were toast!I heard footsteps, and the key didn't work, and . . ." she dragged off, closing her eyes and flopping down on her back.

"I still think it was perfectly unnecessary for you to go up and kiss Sirius.Kiss him!In front of me!I've never been more disgusted in my _life_!" Kat muttered grumpily.

"Aww, come on, Kat!"Becca laughed, rotating herself so she leaned on her elbow."He was so cute lying there!I couldn't help it!"

Kat snorted and crossed her arms.

"Well, Ka-at . . ." Becca said teasingly, "what would you have done if it had been Reeee-muuuuus?"

Kat flushed, and she mumbled halfheartedly about getting caught, but Becca knew she had won the argument.

"Ok, so now that we have our plan, perhaps we should notify Lily?"

"Of course," Kat agreed with relief, glad Becca had let the matter of Remus lie.

***

"So let me get this straight," Lily said in an exasperated voice. "You have a plan – a great on, from the way you guys are all excited about it – that involves James' cape, Lucius and Severus, of all people, explodeepofs, and costumes.Am I missing something?"

"Nope," Becca grinned.

"So remember, all you have to do tomorrow morning is be under their table by ten o'clock – that's when they usually have breakfast.At ten fifteen, we'll arrive with the . . . distraction."

She and Becca exchanged glances, and they both snickered.

"Oh," Kat, said, pulling out her memo pad, "by the way, can you tell me what happened when you went to the library yesterday?"

Lily gave her a quizzical look, but told her all about it, from James' spell on the two of them – she noticed Becca and Kat look at each other in an odd way _again_! – to the horrid curse he put on her.Kat listened through it intently, all the time writing everything in handwriting that was impossible to read upside down (or right-side up, for that matter.)

***

_The Next Morning (about 10:00)_

Lily sat on the grimy floor, huddled into herself, grinding her teeth and sweating buckets at a time.Thank god the Hogwarts tables had the long (A/N: what are those things that go on the tables? I'm losing my English…. You know, those giant napkins that cover the tabletops?) cover-thingies on top of them.She had sneaked out and settled herself there at five in the morning, to make sure no one caught her.She glanced at her watch again.

10:12.

She prayed Becca and Kat would arrive soon.She was not sure she could stand much more of staring at James' feet.

***

Kat looked at her watch.

"Ten o'clock," she announced to Becca, sitting on the bed next to her.

"Okay . . ."

Kat poured out enough of the polyjuice potion for each of them, put a silvery blond hair in one and a pitch black one in the other, then raised her glass.

"Cheers."

"Cheers."

They gulped down the potion.

For a couple seconds, nothing happened.Then their features started to change.Very slightly, at first, then more and more until they finally ended up looking like Snape and Malfoy.

Becca gaped when she looked into the mirror, but Kat only gave a satisfied nod and set about putting on her costume, Becca following shortly afterwards.

When they had finally completed decking themselves out in their outfits, Kat looked to Becca and asked, in a slightly trembling voice, for a surprise,

"Ready?"

"Ready."

They draped the cape over themselves and made their way down to the Great Hall, explodeepofs filling their pockets.

***

_Any minute now,_ Lily thought nervously. _Oh god, hurry up!_

_ _

__***

Becca and Kat padded up the stairs to the stage and positioned themselves so they faced the "audience."

(A/n: I don't know about you, but I imagine there being a stage in the great hall.I mean, where do they do the sorting? So bear with me..)

"Ready?"Kat whispered.

"Ready!" Becca said fiercely.

They pulled out about half of the explodeepofs and threw them on the ground, throwing off the cloak at the same time.

They were enveloped in a cloud of green and purple, giving Becca time to stuff the cape into a pouch sewed into her costume.The smoke dissipated, and Kat stepped forward.

***

Lily gave a start as she heard a loud "pop!" _The explodeepofs,_ she thought grimly.She saw the three marauders swivel around to look at the stage.She would have to wait a bit longer to make sure their attention was well and truly captured . . .

***

Kat stepped through the smoke and threw back the large red cape that had been covering her under the invisibility cloak, revealing an elaborate pirate costume, complete with eye patch.She thrust her hand in front of her and bellowed as loud as she could,

"FIGARO, FIGARO, FIGARO!!!"

By now, all eyes were riveted on her.She began to sing, Becca joining her soon after she started.

"THE GRASSHOPPER WENT TO TOOOOOOOOWNNNN!! TO FETCH A BUCKET OF GRAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!THE ANTS WENT WITH THE GRAAAAAAAASSHOOOOOOOPPER . . .!"

***

Becca stepped after Kat as soon as she heard the end of her opening . . . song.She wore a rather skimpy outfit, with baggy pants and a thin top like that girl Jasmine from the muggle story, Aladdin, she had heard about . . .

She joined Kat in her singing – it was complete random nonsense, just enough to divert everyone's attention – and frantically scanned the crowd for Lily.

After sweeping over the students once, she found her.Lily gave them a huge thumbs up after filling James' glass with the potion, then scampered off to sit at a table.

"EVERYBODY NOW!OOOOOOOO, THE GRASSHOPPER WENT TO TOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!THE GRASSHOPPER WENT TO TOOOOOOOOOOOWN!"

Becca nudged Kat, indicating that Lily had done her job.Kat nodded slightly, not slowing her singing.

Becca danced around the stage – which looked decidedly odd on Lucius – and finally ended back in the middle, where Kat had already backed up.

"THE GRAAAAAAAAAASS!HOPPEEEEEEEER!LA LA LA LA LA!"

They put their feet next to each other and hit their toes together.Once.Twice.Three times.Throw.

They simultaneously threw down the explodeepofs – just in time, too; McGonagall was striding rapidly towards them – and covered themselves with the cloak.

They managed, with some difficulty, to avoid the Professor without hitting her, and ran off to the Gryffindor common room.

***

The Great Hall erupted with mock applause and laughter, James and his friends included.

McGonagall and the prefects "shush"ed everyone, with several threats of detention if they did not stop "encouraging those ruffians."

Eventually, the hubbub died down, and everyone turned back to their food.The usual quiet babble of many tongues at once settled over the Hall.

James was about to shovel some more scrambled eggs into his mouth when he noticed a fiery head making itself towards him.He put his foot down and waited for Lily to arrive.

"Hey, Potter," she spat.

James smiled sweetly.

"Don't eat too much, Lily!We all know you have some weight problems."

Lily's eyes blazed, especially when Sirius snorted some orange juice through his nose and Remus spit out the food he had in his mouth.He had not let them out of his glee.

She was still looking at them with great fury when Sirius leaned over James' food.

"Hey, hey!What'cha got there?Orange juice?Oh good, I got grapefruit."

Without waiting for consent from James, he snatched up his glass and took a big gulp.

Lily's face drained of all color.

"Oh no," she whispered. "Oh no, oh no, oh no."

***

A/N: YES! It's finished! *high-fives reviewers* woooooooooo hoooooooooo!!! So, was that unexpected, the Sirius thing? Was it? Bwahahaha!But anyway I'm slightly stuck now . . . if you have an idea of who Sirius should fall in love with, please email me at lionlady68@aol.com with a subject heading of: Sirius.DON'T put it in a review! I don't wanna give it away :) The next chapter might be in another week or so, depending on how many ideas I get.Look for it, people! Oh, one more thing :) If you're getting tired of reading l/j (WHAT? IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!) but if you are, anyway, then try out Harghan's Scepter.Its an original, and the prologue is kinda cool…. :)but . . . . .L/J ALL THE WAY! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: all the good stuff belongs to JKR, I made up all the curses, spells, and potions except for the polyjuice, and Kat and Becca.The "we've got this notion" song is property of Lionhead, creator of "Black and White." Jasmine and Aladdin belong to Disney….And the grasshopper song is mine :-P


	6. An Odd Twist

A/N: Ok, this chapter might be a little boring compared to last one, but I had to get it out of the way, so bear with me :) Mo

A/N: Sixth chapter! WOO HOO! More joyousness!I'd like to thank all my faithful reviewers *sniffle, sniffle* You know who you are!!Ok, this chapter's going to be really crappy (soooooooooo sorry :( ) but I had to get it out of the way J I'm very sad I couldn't follow up on chapter five . . . . . *sob* But anyway, no flames please.Once I get this over with, the story'll flow more smoooooooooooooothly.

***

Sirius blinked at Lily.

"What?Is something the matter?Did you . . ."

He stopped in mid sentence and blinked.

"I . . ."

Blink, blink, blink.

"Feel . . ."

Blink, blink.

"Would you excuse me?I have to go see someone."

He got up, his eyes glazed over, and walked out of the room.Lily stared at him for a second, face still slightly pale, then rounded on James.

"This is all your fault!You knew, didn't you?You knew!How could you do that to your friend?!" she hissed at him.

"Do what?"

"That!"

"What's that?"

"Take a guess, moron!"

"What, did you have your eye on Sirius?" he asked jokingly.

Lily shot him a murderous look and spun on her heel, stalking back to where she had been sitting in a huff.

"What's up her a –"

"James?"

"Yeah, Remus?"

"I wonder what she was talking about.Why'd she get so mad?"

"She's Lily, Remus."

"Oh.Right."

***

Kat and Becca shoved the invisibility cloak into James' chest (A/N: not his _chest_, his . . clothe-storing . . .thingie . . .) and scrambled out the door.

"Well," Kat – or Severus - said, her face still somewhat flushed, "that was interesting."

"Interesting doesn't begin to describe it!That was so awesome!"Becca – Lucius – exclaimed.

They strolled back to their rooms in leisure, each insisting that her part in the distraction had been better.

Kat was just about to reach for the doorknob to the girls' dormitories when a black-haired figure bounded in front of them.

"EEEEEEEEEE!" Becca screamed.

Kat's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to scream in turn, then clamped it shut and smoothed her robes, acting as though nothing had happened.

Becca looked lethally at Sirius' maniacally grinning face.

"You moron!You scared me half to death!I was about to put a spell on you before I realized you –"

She cut off as Sirius grabbed her and pulled her into a passionate embrace.

Kat's face contorted, and she pretended to vomit on the floor.

"Gross," she muttered. "I _really _don't need to see that."

Sirius broke away eventually, after much retching from Kat, and addressed the breathless Becca.

"Lucius," he began.

"Lucius?!"

" . . . I know I've always loved you . . ."

"I'm not Lucius, you dolt!"

" . . . and I hope you'll return the feeling . . ."

"I'M NOT LUCIUS!"

" . . . I think – what?You're not Lucius?"

"NO!"

Sirius' eyes came back to their normal brightness, the glassy look melting away, and he looked around quizzically.

"Where am I?And . . . GOOD GOD!WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOUR FACES????"

_Grand time for the potion to wear off, _Kat thought wryly.To Sirius, she said,

"Wait here!And don't move!I'm going to get to the bottom of this . . ."

She yanked Becca - who was looking worriedly at her transforming hands – into the dormitories and slammed the door shut before ripping off her pirate clothes.

Becca caught the hint and undressed in turn, donning the traditional Hogwarts robes.By the time they had wriggled themselves into attire, the transformation had stopped and their faces were back to normal.

Kat pulled a stray hair behind her ear and straightened up from tying her shoes.

"Right," she said briskly. "What we need to figure out is why in hell Sirius likes you."

"_Maybe_," Becca said huffily, "he just _does_!Thought of that?"

"What I _mean_," Kat answered in exasperated tone, "is why he fell in love with Lucius, not _you_!"

"Oh . . ."

They stepped out side to find a very impatient Sirius Black tapping his foot.

"Finally!What happened to you guys?I remember your faces getting all contorted, but . . .waaaaaaait a minute.They weren't _your _faces, they were . . ."

"Lucius and Severus', "Kat finished stoutly. "Now, what do you remember as of this morning, Sirius?I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to find out."

"Well, " Sirius said with a gleam in his eyes. "First, I breathed.Then I breathed again.I went down the stairs with Prongs and Mooney and breathed some more.Then I inhaled.Then I exhaled.Then I inhaled.Then I exhaled.Then I . . ."

"ENOUGH!" Becca shouted. "You know what we mean!"

"Do I?"

"YES!"

"I do?"

"Sirius . . . ."

"Ok, ok.Geez.Right, like I said, I went downstairs with James and Remus, and we sat down to have breakfast.We were about to eat when Lucius and Severus" – he glanced at them, receiving two _very _flat looks, and continued. "So they did their little dance thing, and then they left.That's it."

"That's it?" Kat said quizzically.

"Um . . .yeah . . . I mean, unless you count my drinking in James' glass . . ."

Kat groaned, echoed by Becca.Sirius looked around.

"What?What?Why is everyone groaning all of the sudden?Hey, as a matter of fact, Lily groaned when I drank that too, and then . . ."

"And then?" Becca prompted.

"And then . . .I can't remember . . . What happened?All I remember is saying 'You're not Lucius' and then watching your faces go all . . . weird . . ."

Becca blushed and shifted her weight.

"Yeah, Sirius, you, um . . . you kissed me."

Sirius gave a start and blushed ever so slightly, then regained his charm.

"Well, if I kissed you, then it's impossible I was under a spell!" he declared. "Because, fair maiden, I love none other than you!"he kneeled and took her hand, kissing it lightly on her fingers.

"Really?" Becca asked, her eyes widening."Me too!This is so great!Kat, isn't this great?"

"Yeah, it's just spiffing, Becs.Absolutely spiffing.If you want me, I'll be in my room.This is too . . . . odd for me."

She suited her words nicely by walking into the dormitories with something of a flounce.

"She's just jealous," Sirius said with a grin. "Would milady like to accompany me to the Great Hall?"

Becca giggled and took his hand, and they walked down together.

***

A/N: Well, it wasn't as boring as I expected, but the ending really sucked. Sorry :) *ducks rotten tomatoes* But did you get it?Sirius fell in love with Becca because she was "Lucius" and right when she said "I'M NOT LUCIUS!" the polyjuice potion started wearing off, so Sirius couldn't be in love with "him" anymore, since she wasn't Lucius.Ingenious, isn't it?I thought so too :)R/R please! No flames! They're evil and make me sad….


	7. Revelations

A/N: Okey dokey

A/N:Chapter seven! *rubs hands together* Bwahahaha. So sorry this took so long to get out, but I had writer's block *sob* and school and everything . . . . anyway, super-thick James might actually figure something out! *all stare, amazed*Oh, and Kat is't JKR, but it's an interesting idea!She's actually based roughly on me :) But anyway, on with the story!

***

Lunch Hour 

James stared in disgust at Becca sitting on Sirius' lap, both of them making repulsive noises and fluttering their eyelashes.Sirius was saying something in Becca's ear, and she was laughing daintily while trying to kiss him at the same time.All in all, it was a very sickening sight.He turned away and talked to Remus instead.

"Mooney, I still can't figure out what happened this morning. . ."

Remus gave a start and peered at James, then cleared his throat a smidgen too loud.James knew what _he'd _been staring at.

"What?Oh, yeah.That."

"I mean, it has to connect.First Severus and Lucius up there.Everyone knows they can't apparate and dissaparate on the school grounds, so how did they just vanish?Then Lily looks totally freaked out when Sirius drinks my orange juice, and finally, Padfoot comes back with Becca hanging on his arm!Are you going to tell me that's all a coincidence?"

"A coincidence?Maybe . . .Some of it, anyway.What I think," Remus said, biting off his sandwich, "what I think is that Becca isn't a coincidence.That's too . . . natural.You'll understand later." His tone implied that James would never understand, as if Remus was the love expert in the group - making James scowl darkly.Remus did not seem to notice. "So, I think that Lucius and Severus and Lily are all connected, though.It's too . . .weird to mean anything else." 

Remus looked very satisfied with himself – he had obviously thought this through some time ago – and took another bite before looking at James for a comment. 

"I guess you're right," he admitted sullenly.

Remus beamed.

"First things first._How _did Lucius and Severus appear like that?"

"Well . . . er . . . they couldn't have apparated, that's for sure.So . . . . ." James glanced sideways at a smirking Remus.

Obviously he just wanted to watch James flounder for answers when he already had one.Sirius and Becca seemed to have done something to his former meekness.It was very annoying on Remus' part.

"So," Remus said in extremely satisfied tons, "the used the invisibility cloak."

James gaped. 

"Impossible!"

"You better believe it."

"No way.They wouldn't just steal my cloak!Besides, the chest needs a key."

"Well they obviously found some way around that, didn't they?"

Remus said innocently.

"Ok, fine._Hypothetically_, let's say you're right.Why in the world would they want my cloak?"

"Because," Remus said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, "they . . . uh . . . I mean . . . ."

He blinked, realizing it had not been the question he had expected.James felt slightly smug that he had out-witted Remus, then embarrassed he had thought of it that way.

"Ok, so we don't know.Maybe . . . . maybe we could ask them?"

Remus spluttered and sprayed Sirius and Becca with food.Amazingly, they did not seem to notice.Remarkable.

"_Ask them?Are you out of your mind?!'Hey, Snape and Malfoy, we know you stole our invisibility cloak, and we just want to know why.'That's being __real circumspect, James."_

"Well, I still think it might work.We'll just ask them . . .why they were on the stage.Maybe they'll answer, and maybe they won't.I mean, come on.What's the worst they could do to us?"

Remus looked at him in a considering way for a moment, then sighed and nodded.

"Fine.But I hope you know we're gearing ourselves up for disaster."

James smiled and stood up, motioning Remus to follow.

"Sirius, we're going to look for Severus and Lucius.Don't wait up."

Sirius waved an absentminded hand without taking his eyes off Becca.It made James sick.

***

Lily looked at Kat incredulously.

"So he came up here and fell in love with Becca??"

"Yup," Kat said, smiling. 

"So, you're telling me that all our planning went to waste."

"Uh, yeah," Kat said, her smile faltering a little.

"Well this is great!Just great!Spiffing, in fact!_WHY does that moronic four-eyes always have to ruin it??"_

"Ruin it?What do you mean?"

"He knew all along, Kat!He let Sirius drink it on purpose!He's so cruel!"

"He knew," Kat said flatly. "He knew, and he didn't do anything t sabotage our plans."

"You mean besides ruining it," Lily said, her voice fairly dripping with sarcasm.

"That's not what I meant.If he knew, then why didn't he turn us in?We would've been in detention for the rest of our lives!"

"Hmph.Who knows why guys like him do anything?"

Kat sighed.Sometimes Lily was so stubborn!She decided to redirect the conversation.

"So . . . now that the prank is ruined, you're going to play another one, right?"She was surprised at how eager she sounded.Usually she didn't like pranks that much.Maybe the last one had given her a taste of what it was really about.

"Of course," Lily said, her emerald eyes glittering."But this time . . . .this time, it needs to be foolproof."

***

That Evening

_ _

"So he said what?" Kat asked Becca, her eyes wide.

Becca grinned from ear to ear.

"He said that Remus like you! Isn't this great!Now we can double date!It's going to be so cool!"

Kat leaned back on her bed, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Wow," she breathed. "I never would've believed it."

Becca smiled and hugged her, sharing the feeling.

"It's gonna be great!"

Kat smiled and unlaced her hands.

"By the way, where did Lily go?"

"Lily?Oh, she went to the library again.Something about teaching James a lesson."

Kat smiled and leapt up, grabbing her notebook off the nightstand and pulling out a pencil from her hair. (A/N:You know how you can stick pencils in your hair when it's in a ponytail?That's wat she did :) Yek yek yek.)

"What'cha writing?"Becca asked as she craned her neck to see.

Kat huddled over the notepad and smiled a secretive smile.

"Oh, you'll find out in due time."

***

A/N: ARRRRRGGGGG!!!!! I wish I knew how to end stories!!! ARRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!Anyway, I hope this chapter left you with some questions needing to be answered :) What will Remus and James do when they find Severus and Lucius?What is Lily's new master plan?How will Kat, Becca, Sirius, and Remus impact the story? And _what is Kat writing, for Pete's sake!!!!!All this and more in the chapters to come! R/R!_


	8. Forming The Plan

A/N: Sorry for the delay in chapter 8, but I really want to make this one good

A/N: Sorry for the delay in chapter 8, but I was a littls tuck and school was . . .taking up time.Stupid school.To appease your questions, Iceamethyst, no, there will not be any l/j anytime soon, so live with it. I plan for this to be a long story. *sticks out tongue* Right. On to more important business. Is this format bothering anyone? If it is, say so in a **review **(notice how **review **is in bold letters) and I'll do what I can to change it.So.Let's see where the chapter takes us, shall we?

***

James and Remus stopped another cold-eyed Slytherin to ask if she had seen Severus or Lucius. 

"No," she responded chilly, glaring at them like vipers.

She turned away smoothly and glided off, nose held so high it was a wonder she did not trip and fall.James made a face at her.

"So," Remus said flatly, holding up his hand and counting on his fingers as he talked. "Let me get this straight.We've asked seven Slytherins.Two didn't say anything, one threatened to beat us up, three glared at us and told us no – in a _very _cold manner – and one put a spell on us; I'm still not sure all the newt eggs are out of my hair.Tell me again why we're putting ourselves through this."

James glared at him and opened his mouth to say something.He stood there for a minute, his finger pointing at Remus, then closed his jaw slowly with a puzzled expression.

"There," Remus said in tones of great satisfaction. "Even you don't know!"

"Well, we can't stop now," James mumbled weakly. _When _had Remus overcome his characteristic shyness?Odd things were happening, and James did not like being in the dark.

Remus looked about to rebuke him – probably saying that this was absolutely pointless, which, James admitted reluctantly, it most likely was – when a sound came out of the closet to their right.Remus' eyes widened.They both stood in silence, waiting, hoping.

"Get – us – out of here!" said a muffled shout from the closet.

James leaped up and grabbed the doorknob, only a heartbeat faster than Remus.They opened the door to reveal two _very_ angry Slytherins.

"I'm going to kill them!" Lucius hissed. "All of them!They'll pay!No one messes with Lucius Malfoy! No one!They'll pay with their deaths!" he cackled, rubbing his hands together.

James and Remus exchanged looks; perhaps the closet had scrambled Lucius' wits slightly.Severus, however, had not changed.Always cool and practical, he could almost be considered the more evil one of the group, had his stature been a little larger.

"Why?I want to know why before we make them . . .pay," he said quietly, fixing James and Remus with an impressive stare.

"Them?" James asked.Could it be . . .?Of course not.Never.But . . .

"Tell us everything!" Remus said excitedly.

Severus and Lucius looked at the two of them with utter distaste, then Lucius sighed.

"Fine.I suppose it'll help us to have two other witnesses.When I get my hands on them I swear . . ."

Severus made a soothing gesture and took up the story.

"Ok, this is how it went . . ."

James listened intently, fascinated.Lily Evans was going to learn who was boss around here.

***

Kat strolled down the hall, sweat rolling down her forehead in little beads.The most she had been able to wring out of Becca was that "Moony" – someday she would have to find out why they called him that - was "over there" with a slight wave of her hand.She hoped she did not turn into a ninny around Remus the way Becca did around Sirius.Unfortunately, she was very afraid she would.

She rounded another corner, reviewing what she would say in her head, and saw him.Talking to Lucius and Severus.Judging by their disheveled hair and wrinkled robes, they had just been rescued.Kat blanched and move to walk away, but James saw her.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Kat, come over here!"

Kat bit her lip.If she ran away, they would immediately know.If she didn't, though . . . She decided it was worth a shot.Squaring her shoulders and straightening her glasses, she made her way towards them. 

"So," James said loftily. "What'cha been up to, Kat?"

"I've been studying and going to Hogsmeade, thank you," she said in her coolest voice.

Something must have shown on her face, because James peered at her suspiciously.

"Studying and Hogsmeade, eh?Buy anything?"

"Besides butterbeer, no."

This was getting difficult.Kat was an adequate liar at best.She noticed Remus looking at her, and he reddened from ear to ear.Apparently wanting to make it up, he nudged James in the ribs.

"James . . . . James, let's leave her alone.Maybe Lucius and Severus are lying.I wouldn't put it past them."

Severus and Lucius glared at them and reached for their wands.

"Remus," Kat said quickly, "can I talk to you in?In private?"

Remus blanched, then reddened, then blanched again.It was all very amusing.

"Sure," he said unsteadily. 

Taking her arm in his, he led her around the corner, leaving a slightly frightened James with the livid Slytherins.

They reached the end of the next hallway, and Kat stopped him.Taking a deep breath, she started.

"Ok, Remus, I know you like me, and . . ."

***

". . .I just want to tell you that I like you too . . . a lot.And I was wondering if you would . . .um . . ."

Remus couldn't believe his ears.It was like a dream come true.He could guess what she was going to say next, but he couldn't contain his utter joy.Without waiting for her to finish – he had become very straightforward in the last few days, and he could not really understand why – he pulled her close and kissed her as thoroughly as he knew how.

Kat gasped at first, then melted at his touch.The world was finally starting to make sense.

***

"So then," Kat said to Becca excitedly, "He kissed me!Just like that!It was so great! It felt like the world was not there anymore; it was just the two of us."

"I know exactly what you mean!" Becca answered in an equally thrilled voice. "That always happens to me and Sirius!So what happened next?"

"Well, after we pulled away. . . oh, I don't wanna say . . .

"Come on!" Becca pleaded. "Don't leave me hanging!"

"Oh, all right.After we pulled away, he . . ."

"ENOUGH!" Lily screamed from where she was standing.

Kat and Becca gave her level looks, then flipped their hair simultaneously.

"Sorry," Lily said, breathing sharply to calm herself down. "It's just that . . . you wouldn't understand."

"Oh, yes we do," Kat said quite seriously, settling herself on the bed. "We understand perfectly.It's exactly how I felt when I saw Becca and Sirius together.Why don't you hook up with James?"

Lily's eyes bulged, and her lips moved silently, trying to form words.

"JAMES?You want me to . . . to . . . _hook up _with that . . .psychopath?" she spluttered.

Kat shrugged and scribbled in her notebook, ignoring Lily's indignant glare.

"_Anyway_.I think I will ignore your preposterous comment and continue with more important matters.After I wandered around Hogsmeade for a bit – no, Becca, I didn't go straight to the library; I needed to think, so don't give me that look.As I was saying, I wandered around Hogsmeade a little, but I didn't come up with anything, so I figured I needed a quieter place.So I was in the library, thinking, when I noticed an open book on a table.I just glanced at it for a second, and I could tell it had 'James' written all over it." She pulled out a piece of parchment with writing only she could read all over it. "Listen to this: 'Dip your wand in this potion, then drink it.The first person you tap with your wand in the next five hours will obey your every wish and command for one full day.'Isn't that so typical of him?What I don't understand is why he just left the book on the table, but . . ."

"Who cares?!" Becca exclaimed. "He's given us the answer, so let's use it!"

Lily smiled.

"Exactly.Kat, what do you think?"

Kat nodded with a pensive look that the others did not notice.

***

James snickered in the dormitories with his two friends.

" . . . And she fell for it!" he said loudly, falling over laughing.

Remus laughed a bit too, and nudged Sirius in the ribs.Padfoot, however, only smiled weakly with an odd look on his face.

***

A/N: AAAARRRRGGGG! I cannot write well lately!I think school is draining my brain!Damn those evil teachers! . . . I know the Remus/Kat part was over-fluffified, but . . . . I'm in a fluffified mood, so BWAHAHAHA to you. :) Now, I wasn't sure. Is Remus Moony or Mooney? I think it's the first one but I spelled it the other way. Fiddlesticks.R/R!!!!!


	9. Eureka

A/N: These are taking longer and longer to write 

A/N: These are taking longer and longer to write . . . phooey.Oh, well . . . this story might actually have a plot!!!! *looks around proudly* Woo hoo!! By the way, I'm assuming students can go to Hogsmeade when they want, but I'm not sure.What _do _they do during Christmas vacation???? Read Deathmachine Best Moments!! Its funny!! Or, don't.Either way's fine with me :) On with the story!!!!!

***

Lily sat down with a sigh between her two friends, across from the marauders.They both seemed to be deep in conversation with their . . . adoring followers.Lily could have spit.Instead she decided to talk to the grinning figure in front of her.

"James," she said coldly, lifting her chin.

"Lily," he replied with a sneer.

She pursed her lips and shot him a hard look that slid off him like water on a rock.For the fiftieth time, she cursed her friends' choice of love.There were plenty of fish in the ocean, as the saying went, so why did they have to choose the piranhas?

She set about eating, peering at James every so often.He seemed . . . smug was the only word to describe it.But why?Another trick, maybe?It was hardly beyond him, after all.The pig.She would have to be on her guards.

"So, _James_," she was very proud at the amount of spite she could fit into that one syllable."What have _you _been up to?"

Lily was sure he purposefully bit a piece off of that cookie before talking to her.

"I, dear _Lily_, have been talking to Lucius and Severus."

Lily pressed her middle finger on her chin, taking the opportunity to wipe the crumb off of it, seemingly pensive.She hoped James go the message.

"How nice.Typical of you to make friends with snakes, isn't it, Jamsie?"

He was definitely up to something.Just the mention of his childhood nickname – from her, no less! - should have been enough to send him into a rage.Instead, he just smiled.

"Oh yes, Lily.Snakes fit me nicely.They strike when least expected."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows.Strike when least expected?What was he going to do?

"Of course," she said sweetly, still wondering about his last comment. "But remember, snake-boy, play with fire and you get burned."

She stood up to leave – she was not going to let him have the chance to gain the upper hand - and, for a wonder, Becca and Kat stood up with her.Apparently their "important" conversation had finally ended.James smiled that annoyingly knowing smile and waved.

"Toodle-oo!" he said mockingly.

***

As soon as Lily vanished behind a group of people, James allowed his shoulders to sag.Not many people could make him lose his temper, but Lily was on of them.He was amazed he had managed not to shout at her.Had his voice sounded tight?He hoped not.

Gulping down some lime juice – Dumbledore seemed to be playing some cruel joke on them; the lime juice didn't seem sour to _him_ – he turned to Remus.

"So.That went well, wouldn't you say, Moony?"

Remus jumped and mopped his forehead with his sleeve.

"What?Yes.Yes, very well.Ah . . . If you'll excuse me Prongs, I have to go . . . hum . . . To the library.Thinking, you know?"

Without another word, he stood up and walked out the Great Hall.James wondered what he was up to.He decided to try Sirius.

"So, Padfoot, your little conversation with Becca seemed rather . . . promising," he said teasingly. "What did you talk about?Or would you rather I not know?"

Sirius cast him a wary look, of all things, then grinned.Weakly, James thought, but maybe he was wrong.

"Well, Jamsie, get yourself a girlfriend and maybe you'll find out!" 

With something resembling a cackle, he stood up and walked off.

"Hey!'James shouted at his rapidly retreating back. "Where are you going?"

"Hogsmeade!" Sirius called over his shoulder.

James slumped and picked at his food.Lily insulting him with all the right jeers, his friends mysteriously disappearing, Remus looking as worried as he had when they had set the dungbomb in Lily's bed . . . Something was happening, and he didn't know what.

***

Becca looked anxiously at Kat as she unfolded her conversation with Remus.

"See, when Lily said James had just left it there, I was suspicious.It isn't like James to be careless like that.I had an idea of what he might be trying to do, but I wasn't sure.So, during breakfast, I asked Moony . . ."

"Moony?" Becca interrupted with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"Um . . .yeah, that's his nickname.He hasn't told me why yet, but I intend to pull it out of him.Anyway, back to the matter at hand.I asked Remus if he knew anything about it.At first he didn't say anything, just kinda sat there and twiddled his thumbs, so I knew he did.After a little pressing, he confirmed it.When a person drinks the potion, they grow horrible pustules and warts that pop all at once within one day.You can imagine the mess when they do!"

Kat wrinkled her nose at the last comment, obviously visualizing Lily, covered in pus.Becca had to admit it was not a pretty sight in her own mind.

"That's funny," she said slowly, "Sirius told me exactly the same thing.He was worried."

She allowed herself to sigh dreamily, looking up at the cloud-painted ceiling.

"Imagine that!My sweet Sirius, worried!Vondervul!"

"A_hem_," Kat said sharply. 

Becca blushed and smiled weakly at her friend, who grinned sympathetically back at her.It really was nice to have someone to share these things with.

"So, anyway, Sirius says it's true.What do we do now?"

"I'm not sure, Becca.I thought about this a lot, and I still have no idea whether or not we should tell Lily.Part of me says she should, since she's our friend and everything, and the other . . ."

She shot a pleading look at Becca, who understood immediately.How could Kat betray Remus' trust?How could she betray Sirius'?It was a nice little mess they had placed themselves in.

"Kat, let's handle this logically.That's where you come in.We can't betray Lily and just leave her to the potion, but we can't betray Remus and Sirius either.What should we do?"

Kat furrowed her eyebrows and chewed on her fingernail.Becca could almost see the wheels of thought whirring in her head.After a good bit of time, she finally lifted her head up and smiled at Becca.

"I've got it.All we have to do is counteract James' little prank with one of our own.That way, we'll get back at him for Lily without being rats."

"Spiffing, Kat!I love it!What should we do?"

"Hmmm . . . well, we're getting back at him for Lily, so it should be something that has to do with her . . ."

"Right.Alove potion perhaps?"

Kat waved the idea away.

"Too classic.We need something more devious."

"We could tie him to a chair and stuff beans down his throat till he's about to explode . . ."

"Becca, don't be so juvenile!"

"Well, it sounded good in my head . . ."

They sat there for a little while, both deep in thought, when Becca's face lit up.

"Eureka!"she shouted gleefully.

"Shh!Quiet, you fool!What is it??"

"Right.You know how Lily's wart things are all going to explode?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Well, what better way to get back at James than to have them explode on _him_?"

"Hmm . . . I like where this is going, Becca, but how do we get them to explode on him?He'd have to be . . . really . . . close . . ."

Kat grinned broadly as it dawned on her.

"I always thought they'd make a cute couple!"

***

A/N: Ah, yes, fair readers! 'Tis the end!But fear not!More is to come! (As soon as I think of what should happen next :) Bwahahaha!)Can everyone see where this is going to go?? I can too, but maybe I'll change it later . . . we shall see where the story takes us.Review!!! REVIEW! REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!I'll explain why you need to in the next chapter! *wink, wink*


	10. A Closet

A/N: Woo hoo

A/N: Woo hoo!! Double digits!! You can dance!You can dance!Everybody look at your pants!! I hope this chapter is good……*prays fervently to the fanfiction god* but we shall see :) perhaps things shall get ……..interesting?Muahahahaha!By the way, about the need for reviews :) The most reviews my friend has ever gotten for a story is 68, methinks. You all understand the concept of friendly competition? Bwahahahahahahaha!!! So be kind, review. ( I know that doesn't rhyme. Darn it!) 

***

Lily sprinkled in the final ingredients to the potion.It was quite simple, really, made up of ingredients that could all be found in the student cabinet.Most unlike James.

"After sprinkling in the black salt, stir continuously for two minutes, then dip your wand in it and drink it," Kat read aloud.

Lily picked up the wooden spoon and began stirring.

"What do you suppose it'll be like, having James obey my every wish?" she asked, smiling.

Becca giggled and Kat curved her lips in approval.It was quite odd; they seemed to have forgotten about Remus and Sirius for the time being.

They sat there in silence for a little while, all of them lost in thought, until Becca sat up and looked at her watch expectantly.

"Almost done," she announced loudly.

Lily glanced at her own watch.Only fifteen more seconds . . . ten . . . five.Unable to stop grinning at her friends, she dipped her wand in the potion and raised the glass to her lips.Becca opened her mouth and raised her hand, obviously about to say something, but Kat nudged her sharply in the ribs and smiled encouragingly at Lily.Those two were up to something, and she was very eager to find out what . . . Well, that was for later.She took a deep breath and tilted the glass backwards.Kat and Becca both exhaled loudly.Now why were they relieved?

The potion spread throughout her body, sending a tingling feeling on her arms and legs.She appeared to have goosebumps . . . and yet, she was not cold.The goosebumps grew.They became the size of her pinky's fingernail, then the size of an eye . . . all the way to the size of a quarter.They then began to turn green.

"Aaah!!! What's happening?" she shrieked loudly.

"I don't know," Kat said, anxious. "Stay right here and I'll go to the library and try to find the cure.The potion must be faulty . . ."

"But I followed the directions to the letter!" Lily wailed.

"Stay here!"

Without another word, Kat grabbed Becca's hand and shoved her out the door.Lily dropped on the bed.Well, this was great.Just great.She would bet anything that James had some part in this.Lying down on the bed with great care – large warts were very painful when pressured – she vowed to get back at him.Any way she could.

***

"So they'll pop within an hour?"Kat asked Remus, horrified.

"Yeah . . ."

"Well then let's get going!Remus, you know what you have to do!Becca, come with me . . ."

Remus grabbed Kat's sleeve as she whirled around the corner."Wait!What I have to do?What are you talking about?"

"Oh, right!"Becca exclaimed."You don't know!I'll explain it to you."

"Ok, James played the prank, so Lily has to get back at him, but we couldn't deny your trust and everything, so we decided not to tell her but to get back at James for her, which means that we need to lock them up so the warts will all explode on him because that's the way it's supposed to be, you know, and then Lily'll have back at James and maybe they'll hook up because they're so cute together, and you have to get James in the closet on the far end of the hallway and we have to get Lily so they don't know what's happening until it's too late."

Remus blinked at the onslaught of words while Kat patted a panting Becca on the back.

"That's got to be some sort of record.Basically, Remus, get James into that closet right now!This is really important.Please?For me?"

Remus bit his underlip and shook his head, arguing with himself, but finally agreed and ran off to get James.

"Right," Kat said, turning to Becca. "Let me do all the talking.You just cut in for . . . emphasis."

Becca nodded and they sped down the hall back to their dorm. 

***

This was mad.Remus couldn't believe he was doing this.After all, he was betraying his friend!But Kat, with that look on her face . . . Besides, he had promised.With a heaving sigh, he pushed open the door to the boys' dorm.James greeted him with two butterbeers in champagne glasses.

"Cheers, my faithful comrade!I got these from Hogsmeade; with some difficulty, I might add."

Remus waved his glass away.

"James, you have to come quick.Lily . . . she . . ." he cut off, spreading his hands apart to show he could not explain it in words.James, amazingly enough, looked worried.

"Lily?Where?Well, don't just stand there! Lead me to it!"

With a quick nod, Remus stepped back out the door and walked briskly for the designated closet.He fervently prayed that the others were already there.

***

"Ok," Kat said in a businesslike tone, "it's simple, really.To reverse the spell, you have to be in a pitch-black spot for five minutes.And I have just the place!"

"I helped!" Becca said hopefully behind her.

Lily's warts had only gotten worse with time.They were now bulging against each other, and two or three had popped into yellow slime vaguely resembling snot.It was revolting.

"I'll do anything!Just get me away from these overgrown pimples!"

Kat took her hand and swept her down the hall, Becca running ahead of them to check if anyone was around.At least she understood that if any word of this got out, Lily's reputation would go straight down the drain.At last they reached a small, dark closet, barely big enough to fit two.

"Quickly!"Becca said urgently. "I hear someone coming!"

Lily dove into the closet and stiffened against the wall.If she even tried to sit down or huddle on the ground, she was sure excruciating pain would cover her whole body.Kat clicked the door shut.

***

Remus noticed Kat as soon as he rounded the corner, and sighed with relief. He would not have to make James wait.Kat saw him too, and shooed Becca away.James, of course, was completely oblivious, snickering with glee and rubbing his hands together.Kat began to wring her hands as soon as they arrived.

"Oh Remus!" she wailed. "James!It's awful!Awful, I tell you!See for yourself!"

She opened the closet, revealing a dark shadow in one corner.

"What is it?"James asked, poking his head in. "I can't see anything . . ."

Without waiting for more, Kat shoved the rest of his body in and slammed the door shut.She then proceeded to lock it with a small key.

"Splendid," she said happily, kissing him on the cheek. "Absolutely splendid."

***

Lily stifled a gasp as the door opened.Surely it had not been five minute yet?There was no way . . . Her breath caught as she recognized the head poking in from the outside.Kat and Remus seemed to be snickering.They wouldn't.With a cry, James was pushed into the closet.They would.The door clicked shut and Lily heard the familiar "click-clack" of a lock.She couldn't believe it!Her own friends!

"Remus!"James screamed, pounding at the door. "Remus, I'll get you for this!If it's the last thing I do!"

"Shut up, dipwad, my ears are ringing enough as it is!"Lily said irritably.Her arms were pinned to her sides, as James was taking up all the space.

"WHAT?You're here too?IM GOING TO KILL YOU, MOONY!"

"SHUT UP!"Lily screamed in his ear.

"Well, excuse me, miss priss, but who asked you?"

"In case you haven't noticed, four-eyes, we're stuck here in this miserable _dark _closet that's too minuscule to be fit more than two people.It really doesn't amuse me to have my ears blown off."

"Wait a minute . . . a dark closet, did you say?Why'd you emphasize that?Do you mean . . .?" Lily could see the whites of his eyes vividly in the darkness. "They wouldn't!"

"Oh, they would."

"Why those little . . ."  
  


"Shut up, James.I think another one off my stupid wart things is popping."

"Your stupid . . . Oh!! Ha ha ha!Sucker !"

"Idiot.You're stuck beside me, remember?That means they'll all . . .pop . . .on . . .you . . ." Lily flashed her teeth in the darkness.Perhaps Kat and Becca were not totally against her after all.James, however, was not of the same opinion.

"WHAT?THIS WAS A TRICK?A SCAM? GET ME OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE!"

"For the last time, Jamsie.Don't scream.It really gets on my nerves."

"Oh yeah?" James sneered, though he was frantically clawing at the door. "So what are you going to do about it?"

Lily pursed her lips.She had not thought about that.She felt at her robes for something to hit him with . . . and touched her wand.She pulled it out.

"Stupid!Wands don't work properly if there's liquid on it!" James said, scowling and feeling along the door for cracks.

"Really, James?"Lily said quietly.

She thrust the want into his mouth just when he opened it for a comeback.James, surprised, swallowed out of habit.Lily smiled cruelly.

"You didn't," James said, horrified.

"I did."

James' brown eyes flared.

"You . . . you witch!"

"Really?I hadn't noticed!"

"You . . . you have no right!_I'm _supposed to be the one playing the pranks on you!"

"What are you going to do, Jamsie-Wamsie?Hit me?Oh, but sweet little James would never hit a lady in distress!"

Lily put a mocking hand to her forehead, grinning.

"Oh yeah?Watch me."

Without further warning, he pulled his fist back and struck her right in her stomach.A loud popping sound ensued, and a patch of wetness began to spread across Lily's robes.So that was what happened when overly large warts were hit!Remarkable.

"You'll regret this, Potter."

She reached out her hand and scratched James hard on his face.James howled, clutching his cheek, yellow goo oozing through his fingers.He grabbed Lily's hair with a grimace and pulled hard.Lily shrieked in pain, but grabbed James' own hair with her hand, pummelling him with the other.James snarled and clawed at her, trying to find something to pull on or hit.Lily thrashed left and right, trying to escape and hit him at the same time.James pulled his hair free and shoved her against the wall.Unfortunately, he had not registered how strong he was compared to her.Lily hit the wall with a thud.She gasped, and her eyes rolled up into her head.She slid lifelessly to the floor.James covered his mouth with his hand and tried to kneel beside her in the closet.

"Lily?Lily, can you hear me?Oh god, I never meant it to end like this!I. . .I . . . Lily!Speak to me!LILY!!"

***

A/N: Muwahahahahaha! What will happen??Ultimate suspense!I say, I'm rather happy with how this turned out.This isn't what I had expected at all! Splendid!

*EnglishBrat would like to express her infinite sorrow at all the families who lost a dear friend or relation in the horrid accident that befell us.I know that I can never reach the amount of pain you are going through.I would like to tell you to hold on.Although we cannot bring your loved ones back, the memories always remain.*


	11. Dreams

A/N: Ah, yes, it's the dreaded……

A/N:Ah, yes, it's the dreaded…….CHAPTER ELEVEN!!!! *dun, dun, dun*Evilness!Was everyone nice and surprised at the last chapter? Were ya?Were ya?Well goody.Perhaps there shall be some l/j soon. We'll see, won't we? Muwahaha.This chapter might be a little more….serious. Some angst, perhaps?But I had to put something interesting in this story, so here it is.

***

_"Lily . . . Lily . . . Talk to me . . ."_

_ _

Lily floated in the air, in an odd place where light came from everywhere, and nowhere.She could hear James' voice.

_"I never . . . end this . . . Lily!"_

_ _

_James? _She thought confusedly.Why was James worried about her?

She pranced about the area, laughing.Life was so wonderful.She felt . . .light.Suddenly, a bright spot of light appeared ahead of her.Intriqued, Lily took a step towards it. 

_Pain._

Lily stopped, surprised, as the hissing voice entered her head.She waited a second, but it did not come back.Shrugging, she stepped forward again.

_Pain.Death._

_ _

Lily stopped again. It was definitely there.She looked around, and noticed that every way she looked, there was a spot of light like the one she was following.Was she going insane?She strained her ears to hear the mysterious voice again, but heard nothing.Furrowing her eyebrows and wondering about her mental health, she took another step.

Pain.Death.Agony.Harry.Oh, yes, Harry.He's mine.Never, Lily.Never.I'll succeed.Pain.Death.Agony.Harry.Death.Harry.Death.

_ _

Again and again it repeated in her head, until she dropped to her knees, sobbing and clutching her head, begging it to stop.

***

James, who's eyes had gotten somewhat used to the darkness of the closet, rubbed Lily's hand gently, trying to comfort her.He had noticed a sweat break out on her forehead.She thrashed about, muttering about death and a person named Harry.He wished he knew what to do.He hated this feeling; this helpless, worthless feeling.Lily stopped for a minute, then mouthed words.James froze.

"The light . . . step for the light . . . no more pain . . ."

"No, Lily," James pleaded quietly. "Don't die !I . . . I couldn't bear it."

He noticed when he spoke, Lily stopped moving and breathed more regularly.As soon as he stopped, though, she immediately began again, worse than ever.

"Lily?Lily, can you hear me?"she stopped, seemingly listening. "Lily, it's James.I . . . guess I need to talk to you.Because I don't want you to die.I . . . I do hate you, after all"- somehow, that didn't sound as true as it might have –"but I don't want you to die.Please, Lily.You can't die."He paused, and Lily began to move again.Hurriedly, he continued. "Well, I guess I'll keep talking.Let's see, what should I talk about?I know.Let me tell you about my friends.First, there's Remus, Moony, we call him.He's kind of the shy one of the group, but . . ."

He leaned in close and whispered in her ear.Somehow, it felt nice.How very odd.

***

Lily breathed more easily.The horrible hissing voice had been chased away.Instead, it was replaced by a soft, kind one.It sounded like . . .

_James? _She thought with incredulity.

She listened to the voice.Concentrating on it seemed to chase the hissing disappear completely.She sat down, and listened to it with her eyes closed.

"You wanna know why we call him Moony?Well, I'll tell you.After all, it's not like you'll remember or anything.Remus is a werewolf.Yup.I didn't believe it myself, until later."

Images flashed behind Lily's closed lids.Odd images, one she had never seen before.Remus – was it? He seemed so old – teaching, of all things, with . . . a boggart, could it be?More pictures came as James' mellow voice continued.

"So then, when we found out, we worked to become animagi, so we could keep him company.Sirius is a big black dog . . ."

_ _

Another image flickered.She could see a boy, flying – he looked remarkably like James – in a storm.Suddenly, there was a flash of lightning, and a huge black dog, lokking very much like the fabled Grim, was seen.The boy gave a start, and swerved his broom.Lily gasped, hoping he did not fall . . .

"And finally, there's me.I'm . . . I'm a stag.It's pretty neat, since . . ."

_ _

Lily saw the same boy, surrounded by dementors.He was losing his strength, and the horrid creature in front of him began pulling its hood back . . .Lily gave a start.Suddenly, from behind a bush, _the same boy _popped out and pointed his wand at the dementors.It was impossible!And yet, there it was, in front of her very eyes.Well, in a way.The boy shouted something – Lily could not hear anything, James' voice was the only thing she could – and a milky white stag leaped out of his wand.Lily was amazed._That _was James?It seemed impossible, from what she had learned about animagi.They were supposed to reflect the person's personality to the letter.This animal seemed . . . brave, and kind.Those were not words associated with James.

"So . . . That's us.I'm running out of things to talk about.I wish Sirius were here.He could talk until his tongue was worn down to shreds . . ."

_ _

Lily, realizing her closed eyelids were not going to reveal any more pictures, opened her eyes.Her environment had changed.The light was very faint here, and dimming by the moment.Suddenly, Lily felt as though she hadn't had any sleep in a week.The little light there was winked out, and she fell into a deep slumber.

***

James felt Lily's hand relax, and noticed she was breathing more slowly.He stopped talking and noticed she no longer thrashed about.Now she simply looked . . . peaceful.He removed his hand from hers and sighed.There was no more use for him now.

Leaning back on the wall behind him, he looked at her.Really looked at her.For some reason, he did not see the same Lily he always had, all these years.She didn't look haughty, or arrogant.She didn't look mocking, or angry.She just looked . . .like Lily.There was no other way to describe it.

James did not remember leaning forward, but he had.Lily was centimetersaway from him, still breathing softly.She was so beautiful.James could not believe he had never noticed it before.He leaned forward, and gently, ever so gently, he kissed her.

***

Lily felt that James had stopped talking, somewhere in the back of her subconscience.The dream she was in was not comforting in the least.She kept seeing a red-haired woman – who looked remarkably like her, strangely enough – shouting that they would never take her baby.The horrid man in front of her, his face distorted with madness, would laugh, point his wand, and . . . that part always seemed dim.Lily did not understand whether or not the woman died.There was only a flash of green light, and the whole thing started over.It was excruciating.Lily felt as though the woman's pains were her own, deep down.She longed for a way to escape the nightmare, but none came.Over and over again, the scene played itself in her head.She willed herself to wake up.She wanted to scream until every last breath had gone from her body.She wanted to . . .

Her eyes fluttered open at the slight pressure of someone's lips on hers.She looked at the startled brown eyes.James' startled brown eyes.He leaped back from her as if burned, and huddled as much as he could in a corner far from her.

Lily touched her head, feeling as though it should have a splitting headache.She blinked, trying to sort together what had just happened.First the clouds, then the light, then . . .

"James?"

"Yeah . . .?" James answered miserably.

"James . . . what did you do?I mean, one minute I was hearing horrible voices, and the next . . ."

"I talked,," James said glumly.Had Lily not known James well, she ouwld have said he was about to cry. "You . . . you sounded like you were dying.When I talked . . . you got better."

Lily felt as though she could cry herself, but perhaps not for the same reason.James . . . James had done that to save her life?She peered at the boy huddling in the corner, looking so miserable.Maybe he wasn't that bad.Maybe he really was like . . .

"James?Was it true?Are you all really . . ." she whispered the last word, " . . . animagi?"

James only nodded, biting his lip.

"James, I'm not mad at you or anything.Actually, I'm kind of . . .grateful."

James looked up, looking hopeful.

"Really?You mean it?"

"Yeah.That was a really nice thing you did for me, and . . . I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything," he whispered.

He shuffled over to her on his knees.And looked into her emerald eyes.Lily held her breath.Would he . . .?Could he . . .?Without a word, James leaned forward and kissed her. 

Lily felt a rush of electricity run down her spine.A little voice in her head was incredulous._James?Why James?_

_Because I love him! _Lily snapped at it.She returned the kiss with her own.

***

James was ecstatic.He couldn't believe that Lily actually like him back.Come to think of it, he couldn't believe he actually like Lily in the first place.He let the kiss last a while longer, then pulled back, grinning slightly.

"Um, Lily?Look at us."

It was a sight to look at indeed.Lily was covered in orange-yellow slime, except for her face, which had miraculously been spared.James was hardly in a better state himself.His dosage had been considerably smaller than Lily, but the effects were still noticeable.His robes were slippery and even more brightly colored than Lily's, and his arms were slicked with the stuff.Even his hair was flattened out by it.Amazingly, though, his face had not been reached either.Perhaps he had missed something in the spell.

Lily looked at James, then at herself.She smiled faintly at first, then more broadly, and finally burst out laughing.James grinned.It really was rather amusing.

"We look . . . like . . . overgrown . . .slugs!" she wheezed between breaths.

James laughed and hugged her.Lily hugged him back, and her mouth met his.

All of the sudden, light flooded the room.Loud whooping sounds were heard.

"Woo, woo!"Sirius said loudly, puckering his lips. "Lil and Jamsie, sittin' on a broom. . ."

He got no further, as two humongous balls of slime hurled themselves at him, knocking him off his feet into a gasping heap of glop.

***

A/N: Awwwwww, how sweet!! *sniffles* I know, I'm such a sucker for romance.I wish that would happen to _me_! *pouts* Anyway, one last chapter, then its on to the sequel!!!!


	12. Epilogue

A/N: Ah, yes, tis the final chapter

A/N: Ah, yes, tis the final chapter! Such a shame . . . Many thanks to all my faithful reviewers, who inspired me to keep writing this fanfic!! I owe you guys!!!

***

Epilogue

"I'm so glad you two finally got together!" Kat exclaimed at lunch.

"Yeah . . ." Lily said, blushing.

"I know, it's great!" Becca squealed, sitting on Sirius' lap.

"Since you did," Kat continued, "I think I no longer have need for this.I think you should have it, Lily."

She suited her words by pulling out a very battered notepad and handing it to her gaping friend.

"The notebook?" Lily exclaimed. "Kat, why didn't you give me this earlier?!"

"You weren't 'ready'."

Lily smiled ruefully and tapped the book with her wand, muttering an easy spell.The letters inside turned legible, and Lily opened to the first page, reading it aloud.

"_Lily and James.First Signs of Love."_

~The End ~ 


End file.
